And God said, “It’s time to jump into the deep end. I’ve got you!”
Life comes in seasons I have learned. If we don’t pay attention to the changing of these seasons and cling to the one we are in, we can get ourselves into trouble, and we can also miss out on some amazing new opportunities. I am learning to listen and obey God when He tells me an old season is coming to an end, and to anticipate trustingly the new season on the horizon He is leading me into.
It was not always this way. Every time God led me into new seasons in the past- a missionary trip, marriage, motherhood, and working full time- I followed His lead with my heels digging into the dirt. In each season however, when I chose to follow God rather than fear, He always led me to a place of growth and fruitfulness.
In John 15, in a metaphor, God is referred to as the Husbandman, or Vinedresser, Jesus Christ as the true vine, and we as branches. In this particular season, I was about to be transplanted into a whole new pot, so I asked God how I could know the difference between needing to respond to His leading when I felt uncomfortable versus when I need to resist the Devil when he was trying to bring me harm. That may sound like a peculiar question to you, but I was coming out of a time when I had been asked to do a hard thing by person I trusted, and I went along with his request although I did not feel comfortable with it. I was counseled to cut ties with people in order to receive healing in my life. My willingness to be obedient actually cost me in my relationship with God and the people I love, and I did not want to make that mistake again. That is when God taught me lessons from John 15 that helped me to learn the difference between needing to respond to God versus resist the devil when it felt uncomfortable.
John 15: 1-4 (NKJV)
“I am the true vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser (Husbandman).
“Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.
“You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”
I was sitting in the orthodontist office while our daughter, Amy, was having her braces adjusted when I came across an article about pruning. Remember I asked God about responding versus resisting? Well, in light of John 15, this article really caught my attention. You see, I understood the figurative meaning of God as the Vinedresser, Jesus Christ the true vine, and we as the branches laid out verses 1 and 2. However, I did not understand the concept of “taking away” and pruning. When I read in verse 2 that if “the branch is not bearing fruit God takes it away” left me feeling fearful that if I am messing up and not being fruitful, God is going to start hacking away at my life. I decided to do a word study of the phrase “take away” and I discovered a wonderful truth that calmed my heart immediately. The words “take away” is the Greek word airo and actually means to lift up. God lifts us up when and where we are struggling to bear fruit. What a comfort! Then I came across a book titled, Secrets of the Vine, by Bruce Wilkinson that gave deeper insight to this figure. Listen to this excerpt from his book:
“Lifts up” suggests an image of a vinedresser leaning over to lift up a branch. But why?
At a lunch with a seasoned owner of grape vineyards, Bruce’s eyes were opened to a whole new light in which to understand the intimacy between the branches and the vinedresser.
“New branches have a natural tendency to trail down and grow along the ground,” he explained. “But they don’t bear fruit down there. When branches grow along the ground, the leaves get coated in dust. When it rains they get muddy and mildewed. The branch becomes sick and useless.”
“What do you do? I asked. “Cut it off and throw it away?”
“Oh no!” he exclaimed. “The branch is much too valuable for that. We go through the vineyard with a bucket of water looking for those branches. We lift them up and wash them off. ” He demonstrated for me with his dark calloused hands. “Then we wrap them around the trellis or tie them up. Pretty soon they’re thriving.”
As he talked, I could picture Jesus’ own hand motions when He taught in the vineyard that night. He was showing how the Father makes sure His crop comes in full and sweet. When the branches fall into the dirt, God does not throw them away or abandon them. He lifts them up, cleanses them off, and helps them flourish again.” (pp. 33; 34-35)
Performance anxiety was not a new thing for me. A hyper vigilance to learn something quickly and well to avoid someone being mad at me or disappointed in me was as familiar to me as breathing. To learn that God would lift me up when I was dirty with sin, or messy from ignorance or inexperience, clean me off, and prop me up till He saw me thriving was such a welcomed relief. He would be patient with me in this season, and see me through till I was bearing fruit. But, God did not stop there with His teaching. He went on to share with me His wisdom in pruning my life. And this it where He taught how to recognize when He was doing something in my life that may be uncomfortable at first, but He needed me to trust Him and respond to Him. I was all ears!
This brings me back to the orthodontist office and the article about pruning. The rest of verse 2 in John 15 says, “He prunes the branches that are bearing fruit so they will produce even more.” The article on pruning therefore got my attention. I picked up the article and began to learn that pruning a plant in the right season, in the right manner, and in the right amount, will not cause any harm, but will in fact, cause it to produce more fruit. The reason the plant or tree is not harmed when pruned correctly is because when a person prunes a plant during the season when the life of the plant goes into its roots, the caretaker can successfully prune away the overgrowth without damaging the plant itself.
Wow! My mind was reeling! God had just shown me right then and there that He always knows the right season and the right way to prune something out of my life in a way that will not cause me any damage. My job is abide in Christ while He does the pruning. But, how does He prune me? Verse three says His Word both prunes and cleanses us. God will utilize His truth to both cleanse me as well as prune me, and if I respond to what He is doing in my life, I will indeed bear much fruit to His glory. The devil on the other hand will try to “prune” me at the wrong times in my life with ways that will bring damage to my life with the goal to steal, kill, and destroy. The more I am in tune with God’s way of teaching me, speaking to me, and working with me, then I will more easily recognize the enemy’s attempt to take away from me. I will learn how to respond to God’s movement in my life, as well as when I need to resist the devil so he will flee.
God had asked me to jump in the deep end with Him, and to trust him to get me to where He wanted to take me. He was asking me to become a teacher in this new season of my life. Many of the steps He was asking me to take evoked tremendous fear and trepidation. I had to choose each day to step into this new thing with Him regardless of how I felt.
God opened the door for me to get a job as a paraprofessional in the Emotional Support room at the same high school my husband had gone to. Every day I set my alarm clock and make the choice to not listen to the fear raging within, but rather choose to get up to go to work. I got up at 4:30 every morning so I would still get in my quiet time with my Heavenly Father before stepping into my day. I needed His reassurance and affirmation. Day after day I made the decision to follow God’s leading regardless of how I felt. I chose to respond to Him and He kept His part of the bargain- He lifted me up, washed me off, and propped me with His everlasting arms so I could do what He asked me to do. He pruned away my fears and insecurities one day at a time, and reminded me to stay rooted and grounded in my Lord Jesus Christ as He did His masterful work with my heart and life.
I worked alongside a patient, kindhearted man that took me under his wings as I learned how to navigate the unfamiliar terrain of working full time, and learning a new job. God blessed me with friend,a Social Worker at the high school, who encouraged me every step of the way. She was my safe place to go to when I struggled with anxiety at work. In the early days of working, I spent time in the bathroom between periods calling Dick asking for him to pray for me and talk me off of the ledge. This happened every day in the first few weeks. However, before I knew it, I was running to bathroom for help from him only every other day, then once a week, until I finally reached a place where I didn’t need to call him at all. God was lifting me up, cleansing me, and pruning me in all the right ways, in the right season, and in the right places of my life. All so I could bear much fruit to His glory.
Four years later, I went back to school to get my teaching degree in elementary and special education. I graduated with a Masters degree in Elementary and Special Education in December of 2010. In 2011, I set out to be a certified elementary teacher as a long term substitute, and in 2012, I landed my first contracted position as a third grade teacher at a local elementary school. God asked me to jump into the deep end of the pool with Him and promised me He would catch me and get me to where He wanted me to go. He did what He promised He would do, as I learned to trust Him, obey, Him, and respond to Him.
If you are in a place where God is tugging at your heart letting you know a season is coming to an end, and a new one is waiting on the horizon, jump into it with a heart that trusts God is there with His arms opened wide to receive you. He will bring you to where He wants you to go even if you can’t swim!
