Part 1:
God spoke to me and said, “Every time you see that woman’s eyes of rage, look instead at My eyes of unfailing love.”
Luke 23:34 “And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment and cast lots.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, and all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
I was taught early on in my walk with God the importance of forgiveness by Jesus Christ’s example on the cross and from teachings from the book of Ephesians. However, one day I experienced the why and the power of forgiveness as I was challenged to do so unexpectedly. I learned that forgiveness doesn’t only benefit me, but it has a powerful impact spiritually on the one we forgive.
It was a sunny, warm spring day as I drove home from the vet with our Golden Retriever, Shadow. I needed to grab a few items from Acme, so I stopped at the store for a few minutes. While I was in the produce section, I heard an announcement asking would the owner of a gold Toyota Highlander please come to the service desk. I drove a Pathfinder so I didn’t think twice about it. Then the announcement came over again and I had the thought that maybe I should check it out. When I approached the service desk, they asked me if I had a dog in the back of the car. I told them yes. They proceeded to tell me that another customer saw my dog foaming at the mouth and the windows were all fogged up.
Needless to say, I went right out to the car only to find that my dog was wagging his tail at me and there was a trace of moisture on the front window. Once I realized he was fine, I went to open my car door to crack the windows open for him while I finished my shopping. As I reached to open up my car door, a woman came out of seemingly nowhere and slammed my door closed and began to scream at me incessantly about leaving my dog in my car with no windows open. I was shocked to say the least. This woman was in a fit of rage. When she stopped yelling, I said I am sorry I forgot to open the windows and that I will take care of that now. As I reached again to open up my door, she shut the door again and began her tirade all over. She threatened she had called the police then walked away.
At that point, I was shaking and very upset at her behavior and outrage. I went back to the store to tell them I would be back to get my groceries after I brought my dog home.
As I walked out to my car, I saw the woman parked right next to my car. She wasn’t done with me. I was on the phone with my husband telling him what had happened and he told me to ignore her and just get in the car. But, I the Peacemaker, thought to myself if I could just tell her that I meant no harm and that I love my dog, surely she will see I am good owner and she will forgive my mistake about not leaving windows open for my dog. In the background, I could hear my husband saying again to just get in my car, but my pattern in life was to try to appease the angry person as if I had the power to settle them down with kindness and honesty. Well, I was wrong. I just invited another barrage of profanity and verbal abuse. At that point I realized Dick was right and just got in my car.
On my way home I began to shake and cry. Her rage had struck an emotional cord within me that quickly brought me back to my childhood. I had experienced throughout my childhood being the recipient of and witness to other people’s rage. I had witnessed people getting physically hurt, property damaged, and even been attacked and choked by someone in a fit of rage. Those memories and feelings of helplessness came crashing into my mind leaving me in a paralyzed emotional state.
In the midst of that emotional storm came a soft word, “Go home and read Psalm 25 in the NLT version.” And, so I did.
As soon as I got home I went into my sun room and got out my journal and the NLT bible, and began to read Psalm 25.
My eyes stopped abruptly as I read Psalm 25:6-7 (NLT) “Remember, Oh Lord, Your unfailing love and compassion, which you have shown from long ages past. Forgive the rebellious sins of my youth; Look instead through the eyes of your unfailing love, for you are merciful, Oh Lord.”
The phrase, “Look instead through the eyes of your unfailing love” pierced my heart and God spoke to me and said, “Every time you see that woman’s eyes of rage, look instead at my eyes of unfailing love.” I continued to read in the Psalm till I came across verse 15 , “My eyes are always looking to the Lord for help, for He alone can rescue me
from the traps of my enemies.”
What began at that moment was a seemingly timeless back and forth conversation with God as He taught me how to give Him all the feelings of fear, helplessness, pain, and victimization in exchange for His calming and healing unfailing love. As peace began to envelope my mind and heart through this exchange, God began to lead me to forgive the woman and all who had attacked me in a fit of rage in my past. One by one I released them to God as I forgave each one.
Once I could think of that woman in the parking lot with only compassion, God prompted me once again to start to pray for her. He showed what to pray for, what to bind, and to also pray for her salvation. By the time I was done with this quiet time with my Father, I had great peace and decided to go about my day. Until the phone rang.
I stopped in my tracks and fear began to grip my heart again as I thought “This must be the police.”
God said, “It is the woman from the parking lot.” And I said, “There is no way that is the woman from the parking lot because she doesn’t even know who I am.” God said “It’s okay, you can go answer the phone. It is her.”
So, I answered the phone and just as God had said, it was her.
I will share part two tomorrow on the power of forgiveness.
The Power of Forgiveness
Part 2
In that very moment, my heart flooded with forgiveness and compassion as an excitement flowed through my heart.
“Hello, Charlotte?”
“Hello”
“This is Charlotte, right?”
“Who is this?”
I’m the lady from the parking lot. That was you with the dog in the car, right? I found your name on our sons’ lacrosse team’s parent list.”
My mind was reeling. She knows me? As she told me more about who she was, I began to remember that we used to car pool for lacrosse, had stood on the sidelines together during the games, and even had lunch together one time after we picked our sons up from a lacrosse camp. I really knew her, and yet in the parking lot her visage had changed so much due to her rage I didn’t even recognize her..
In that very moment, my heart flooded with forgiveness and compassion as an excitement flowed through my heart. I was in awe and wonder as all I could think of was that I had nothing but forgiveness in my heart for this woman on the other end of the line. Then she began to tell me her story after she apologized for her behavior.
She went on to tell me that she had traumatized once after finding a dog dead in the back of a car from being locked in a hot car, so now when she sees dogs in cars with windows up she goes nuts. She continued to say that after I left she remained in a heat of rage all the way home. She remained in a fit of anger at the thought of my dog in the car with no windows opened as she unloaded the groceries from her car. Then in one quick moment the rage lifted as she stood at her kitchen island and she instantly knew who I was- Charlotte! She knew I was a “nice Christian woman that would never do something intentionally to harm a dog, and she felt great remorse over her behavior towards me. When she told me her name, I was shocked that I hadn’t recognized her at all. After all, I had sat across the table from her and had lunch not too long ago!
I asked what time that occurred, and she told me when the rage lifted. It was at the exact same time that God had prompted me to start to forgive her and pray for her. I was truly amazed!
What amazed me even more was the fact that I only felt compassion and forgiveness for her. She was overwrought with guilt and shame for her behavior towards me, so I began to tell her I forgave her . When she couldn’t receive my forgiveness, I told her why I was able to forgive her, and began to tell her about Jesus Christ and the price He paid for all of our sins.
We had a wonderful conversation about God, Jesus Christ, and the love they have for her.
I could tell she was really struggling to receive not only my forgiveness, but also God’s. So, I invited her out for coffee so she could see that all was well between us.
We met a few days later at a coffee shop and had a wonderful time together. As I walked away, I was in wonder at how powerful forgiveness is even when the other person doesn’t know we are forgiving them! Things change in the spiritual realm when we choose to forgive and pray for those who hurt us or wrongfully abuse us. Our job is to listen and obey God’s Word, it’s God’s job to deal with all the rest.